Someone emailed me this question,here is his whole nusach:

“An apartment with one entrance, four bedrooms and one girl in each bedroom.  Can two men sleep in the living room?  Can three?  I learned that three men are required at night because if there are two, one may fall asleep.  However here the point is that that are all going to fall asleep.  How could that be worked out?  All are single, the men are “Kosher” and not related to the women.  The women are also not related to each other.  Some of the men may be friends with some of the women.The question is about sleeping over at night.”

I would assume that three men is ok limaaseh – is there anything else I need to tell him here?


Not a great matzav to be in. Some poskim mention the girls locking their doors from the inside as an eitzah for night time. I am not enamored about the heter but it is brought. I would not want one of those people to be one of my sons or daughters just for the record.

Question 2

Is there an issur limaaseh if there are three men though…?


Ledina it’s mutar with three men at night. There is a Radal on Pirkei D’Rebbe Eliezar ch 16 by Eliezer Eved Avraham who says Middas Chessed is not to allow even with three men.

Don’t forget the rambam also who says stam men are not kesheirim nowadays (just as a point to keep in mind)

The locking the door heter makes it that next notch better.